Asubuhi Njema
At the crack of dawn.
A slither of light escapes
A slim parting of curtains.
Hurts my eyes
This memory of you
Illuminates the room
Shadows of laughter and longing appear.
The sound of your voice calling my name
Arms open wide in the heat of the day
We used to dance
Like no one was watching
The gaze of the world fading away
Sweet poetry.
Curtains now closed.
I sit silently in the dark with myself
Afraid of the armour of light carried by the sharpness of your empty words.
Afraid that if I write my heart down, you may appear.
The last time I saw you,
You were the sun.
Wonder
My daughter stands by the bathroom door
Broken handle; an invitation to explore new worlds
First, she looks inside
Then, her two-year old body turns to me
For permission
My gaze is on her wondering eyes
I miss myself at her age —
Unafraid to just be.
She hums a tone of disapproval back to me before I say a word.
And here I thought mothers are meant to make you brave.
I will be a better mother next time.
She remains still, still standing at the door
Her eyes fixated on the white chair-looking thing
Ready to linger just a little while longer
Just to be in wonder.
Grief
Come and sit with me
Bench by bench
Side by side
Here next to me
You have kissed the insides of my anatomy
With a sunken deep
A dark cloud always rains on me
You taste like a bitter herb
And I am now willing
To let you fly away
I open my mouth
And with a laugh
I let you escape
Into the abyss of the world’s mind
Until we meet again
God knows, I hope we never do.
MWANGAZA
Hodi hodi mi naingia, mazuri kusimulia
Wakubwa nawaamkia, wadogo nawapokea
Ninalo la kuwaambia, ya moyo kufunulia
Kichwa usipokiinua, ‘tapataje angaza?
We sogea kaa kitako, nianze na nitokako
Jua jina lina upako, si mchezo si mdako
Mtoto huyo ni wa kwako, ‘Simuite Masumbuko
Kichwa usipokiinua, ‘tapataje angaza?
Koimo hili jina langu, wa kwanza Bibi yangu
Nyota aipendayo Mungu, yaangaza ulimwengu
Karibuni kwenye mawingu, machoni toa ukungu
Kichwa usipokiinua, ‘tapataje angaza?
Jambo hili lanishangaza, wengine linawakwaza
Nikikaa mi nikiwaza, si suala la kubeza
Utu wa mtu ni mwangaza, uwezao kutukweza
Kichwa usipokiinua, ‘tapataje angaza?
Nuru huwa haifichiki, giza kwake si rafiki
Nuru haina unafiki, na kweli haikwepeki
Nuru si suala la kiki, ukatae uafiki
Kichwa usipokiinua, ‘tapataje angaza?
Undani wako una taa, dunia ipate jaa
Ufahamu tiba ya baa, wokovu wa wenye njaa
Ilishe nafsi kila saa, taarifa za kufaa
Kichwa usipokiinua, ‘tapataje angaza?
Hakuna jema lisilo’sha, ndio yalivyo maisha
Nami nisije kuwachosha, bali nipate wakosha
Wazo hili linahuisha, sio wazo la kufisha
Kichwa usipokiinua, ‘tapataje angaza?
*Photo by Loic Ekinga from Instagram
